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All I Can Ask For

by Sleeptalkers

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1.
Ship//Ocean 04:25
I wish that I could see the person that everyone tells me they see so my reflection doesn’t feel like a stranger to me And when I open my mouth I hear my voice but I can’t seem to quite figure out if I’ve been telling the truth or anything I mean But I will open my eyes I’ll see the world brand new I’ve got a long way to go, but I’ve got something to prove to nobody but myself I don’t know where I’m going But I’ve got a lot to say I’m not the ship, I am the ocean Let it carry me away I think it’s about time learn to live in my body and get out of my mind And maybe this time I’ll get it right I learned I can’t erase I am the person I am because of choices I’ve made I am the result of my victories and my mistakes But I will open my eyes I’ll see the world brand new I’ve got a long way to go, but I’ve got something to prove to nobody but myself I don’t know where I’m going But I’ve got a lot to say I’m not the ship, I am the ocean Let it carry me away I don’t know where I’m going But I’ve got a lot to say I’m not the ship, I am the ocean Let it carry me away
2.
My Way Out 03:09
Well, I’ve had some time to think and I think I’ve got some questions Is anybody listening? Does anyone care about my intentions Because I’ve had too many nights walking down this dim lit road asking who would care if I’m gone and why am I scared to die alone I’m counting every good thing come my way I’m learning that it’s make or break I can’t stay young forever so I’m gonna make this count If tomorrow’s what comes after then today’s what matters now So I’ll use my hands to build and I’ll play my music loud and I’ll use my eyes to keep on searching I’ll find my own way out Well I’ve got a lot of patience but I could use a bit of luck to turn this ceiling to a floor and keep my head above The water that’s been rising in the corners of my mind if I’ve got the choice to sink or swim I sure as hell know mine I’m counting every good thing come my way I’m learning that it’s make or break I can’t stay young forever so I’m gonna make this count If tomorrow’s what comes after then today’s what matters now So I’ll use my hands to build and I’ll play my music loud and I’ll use my eyes to keep on searching I’ll find my own way out I swear that it’s worth it All you need is some courage And a little bit of hope to push you through I can’t stay young forever so I’m gonna make this count If tomorrow’s what comes after then today’s what matters now So I’ll use my hands to build and I’ll play my music loud and I’ll use my eyes to keep on searching I’ll find my own way out
3.
Radio 03:50
You fell asleep on the ride back to San Francisco I played our songs so you could hear them in your dreams You didn’t wake even after I started singing I told you stories of our songs and what they mean And you told me that everything’s fine and you told me everything And you told me that everything’s fine and you told me everything Now I just sing along to the radio Because one of us won’t say a god damn thing And we both know just how this chorus goes But I will never, no, I won’t hear you sing I spent the last five years trying to explain that everything I did was just to make you smile You’ve turned your head away and now my words can’t reach you I hope this melody haunts your life And you told me that everything’s fine and you told me everything And you told me that everything’s fine Can you tell me everything? Now I just sing along to the radio Because one of us won’t say a god damn thing And we both know just how this chorus goes But I will never, no, I won’t hear you sing Now all those songs we used to hear Are only reminders of a year Where you chose not to say a word Now it’s your turn to listen Now I’ve got no regrets (These songs all sound the same) I gave you all I had to give (They all remind me of your name) One last thing to say (And how quickly you changed) I will never sing to you again Now I just sing along to the radio Because one of us won’t say a god damn thing And we both know just how this chorus goes But I will never, no, I won’t hear you sing
4.
So listen I know these words they fall apart But now they glisten This broken glass, it looks like stars And when they fall onto the ground They do not make a sound And you don’t You don’t think I see the signs all around you You think I’m blind but these are all just things I’ve been through So let the ocean change its course And let it swallow my remorse And I don’t, I don’t quite know, how to let go And you don’t, oh no you don’t Everyday we’re getting closer and closer To getting these bridges set on fire I don’t know how you don’t see, you make it so easy I hear the same things over and over I’m not gonna be a liar, liar There is no mystery, it’s just you haunting me Maybe If you think this is just a game that we’re playing Well, I swear I’m not the same person that you knew And I’ll say the same for you So baby If you think never is a promise, I’ll hold you to it I’ll see you standing from the side to say you knew it But if there’s one thing about change Is that it always stays the same And I don’t, I don’t quite know, how to let go And you don’t, oh no you don’t Everyday we’re getting closer and closer To getting these bridges set on fire I don’t know how you don’t see, you make it so easy I hear the same things over and over I’m not gonna be a liar, liar There is no mystery, it’s just you haunting me And I don’t, I don’t quite know, how to let go And you don’t, oh no you don’t Everyday we’re getting closer and closer To getting these bridges set on fire I don’t know how you don’t see, you make it so easy I hear the same things over and over I’m not gonna be a liar, liar There is no mystery, it’s just you haunting me
5.
I never wanted to write a sad song At least, not with you mind You sent a box full of all our pictures And everything you left behind Never enough And you made it so tough Now I’m looking back at all that’s left I never thought that we would ever let go There was lightning in my eyes for you but now they don’t glow You were the only thing that ever really felt like home I guess I’m better off, I guess I’m better off alone I think about the person I was At least, who I was back then I lost myself and the life we built But the worst was losing my best friend Never enough And you made it so tough Now I’m looking back at all that’s left I never thought that we would ever let go There was lightning in my eyes for you but now they don’t glow You were the only thing that ever really felt like home I guess I’m better off, I guess I’m better off I’m so glad it’s in your rear view mirror Everything you see is so much clearer I’m still in the darkest places that I’ve had to sleep Alone without you next to me
6.
Invincible 03:50
It happened again I let my worst get the best of me And I don’t know what to do about Things I convince myself of A victim of my insecurities And I’ve made a fool of everyone who thought I’d be okay And time and time again, I’m a cliche in that same way I might not be as invincible As I let myself believe But I’m fighting everyday for a miracle Becoming who I’m supposed to be I lost myself Now the words they’ve escaped me Facing all the questions like How can you possibly live If you only exist? And I’ve made a fool of everyone who thought I’d be okay And time and time again, I’m a cliche in that same way I might not be as invincible As I let myself believe But I’m fighting everyday for a miracle Becoming who I’m supposed to be Owning up to imperfections I’m leaving my confessions on the floor I’m tearing out the pages Of a book that I don’t read anymore Because it’s getting harder everyday To keep a smile on my face I just want to get better I might not be as invincible As I let myself believe But I’m fighting everyday for a miracle Becoming who I’m supposed to be
7.
Twenty Five 03:04
Twenty three was a bust But twenty four was a door To all the nights I ran away from Because I’ve been stuck here this whole time Looking for some kind of sign To tell me this is where I belong But not this time This time I’ll stand up This time I’ll stand When you look me in the eyes All I want you to see is the fire in me I’m ready for the worst And I’m not letting go It’s my turn to define The way I choose to live my life I will stand and I will fight I will Everything thing I loved has changed People come and go Sometimes I can’t recognize my face And if this is how I go Headfirst into Twenty Five I’ll have my fingers crossed That I’ll make it out alive But not this time This time I’ll stand up This time I’ll stand When you look me in the eyes All I want you to see is the fire in me I’m ready for the worst And I’m not letting go It’s my turn to define The way I choose to live my life I will stand and I will fight I will When you look me in the eyes All I want you to see is the fire in me I’m ready for the worst And I’m not letting go It’s my turn to define The way I choose to live my life I will stand and I will fight I will WHOO!
8.
I filled the drywall with my fists I’ve lined my books with every list Of all the things I regret Made friends with all the lonely nights Cried myself to sleep a couple times Of all these things, I won’t forget That my light is burning bright I won’t go down without a fight I don’t need anyone to see The person standing here is me Get back and watch me roar Like a lion, like a lion I fall down but I get back up You can’t tell me enough’s enough Get back and watch me roar Like a lion, like a lion Some days you feel like giving up And the burden feels like way too much I won’t lie, I’ve cut it close I found the strength in me to stand I’ll always do the best I can I won’t forget what matters most I don’t need anyone to see The person standing here is me Get back and watch me roar Like a lion, like a lion I fall down but I get back up You can’t tell me enough’s enough Get back and watch me roar Like a lion, like a lion I don’t need anyone to see The person standing here is me Get back and watch me roar Like a lion, like a lion I fall down but I get back up You can’t tell me enough’s enough Get back and watch me roar Like a lion, like a lion
9.
On Your Side 02:52
Don’t fall asleep In the morning we’ll forget Holding hands in this bed Hold on to me I’ll tell the sun to go away If you promise that you’ll stay In the morning, we’ll be different In the morning, everything we know will change Dry your eyes, I’ll keep you mine I’m on your side I’ll be your hope, you are my home I’m on your side In the morning, we’ll be different In the morning, everything we know will change Dry your eyes, I’ll keep you mine I’m on your side
10.
Open Door 04:32
Sometimes I wish I could go back So I could fix all my mistakes And start over again Choices that I could have made I play them over in my head Wish I knew all the words to say With perfect diction Say everything I mean Be more honest with myself So I could start again clean But I won’t run away anymore I’ll take my chances on an open door I finally found what I’m fighting for This is my spark, the light I walk towards I won’t stand for being shackled I can’t live being something I’m not I only wanna find myself Because i’m the only me I’ve got I’m living through the struggle Becoming everything that I want In the end, I’m gonna find myself Because I’m the only me I’ve got Wish I knew how hard it was to love someone Before you love yourself Or how you can forget the ones that love you When you get caught up in someone else I wish goodbyes they weren’t so painful But in them i’ve learned to grow Into the person that I want But I’ve got so far to go But I won’t run away anymore I’ll take my chances on an open door I finally found what I’m fighting for This is my spark, the light I walk towards I won’t stand for being shackled I can’t live being something I’m not I only wanna find myself Because i’m the only me I’ve got I’m living through the struggle Becoming everything that I want In the end, I’m gonna find myself Because I’m the only me I’ve got I’m as lonely as I tell myself I’m as scared as I’m convinced I might not have all the answers But I’m as ready as I’ve ever been I’m as lonely as I tell myself I’m as scared as I’m convinced I might not have all the answers But I’m ready But I won’t run away anymore I’ll take my chances on an open door I finally found what I’m fighting for This is my spark, the light I walk towards I won’t stand for being shackled I can’t live being something I’m not I only wanna find myself Because i’m the only me I’ve got I’m living through the struggle Becoming everything that I want In the end, I’m gonna find myself Because I’m the only me I’ve got
11.
Papillon 04:11
I stayed out late Drove past the bridge To throw away everything that you’ve ever left I don’t need them now Possessions fade To walk this path you left me on I don’t think I need all this weight Because I feel you in my bones I threw our book into the ocean The one that carried all our notes Because I couldn’t stand to read them Whenever I felt alone You keep the ring I meant what I said Although I know I’ll never see it on your left hand again Because I feel you in my bones And now there’s nothing left to show I thought of all the plans That we let ourselves make And how we couldn’t keep them Because we couldn’t stay awake If you hear me now I wrote all these lines I hope I wrote a song you love And that you sing it all the time Because I feel you in my bones And now there’s nothing left to show But if there’s one thing you should know I tried to smile When I locked the door You said that you would always be mine But I’ve always loved you more

about

Special thanks to my parents, Niko, and Gia. Nathan and Andre. Ryan A. Danny. Ryan W. JB. Alicia. Casey. Sam and the InnerVoice family. Kris Simeon. Chase Kossack and the The Fourth and King. Chris and Mark of Cosette. Stephen Lynch and Lynch Guitar Repairs, Jake L. Chris J, the other Chris, Gillian, Vince, Jake O, Amanda, Selby, Eddy, Andrew, Rob, Runn, Sylvia. Guinevere Q and Young Sun. Sonny, Alex, Kevin, Seth, Travis, Kanoa, and Neck of the Woods.

Bands/Music People: The Fourth and King, The Y Axes, Unlikely Heroes, LEX, Dr. Striker, Night Owl, Surviving the Era, Kris Simeon, Travis Hayes, Cosette, Swamphammer, Arrows, Modern Baseball, Go Radio, Anberlin, Taking Back Sunday, Moose Blood, Mayday Parade, Chance the Rapper, Jimmy Eat World, Can't Swim, underOath, Bring Me The Horizon, SAOSIN, The Front Bottoms, Kanye West, Fall Out Boy, Can't Swim, Sunrise Skater Kids from Baltimore, J. Cole, The Maine, The Starting Line, Pet Symmetry, Jeff Rosenstock, and forever and ever amen, My Chemical Romance.

credits

released January 7, 2017

Music and lyrics written by Gerard Cabarse
Recorded at "Party In Your Bedroom Studios" and Produced by Gerard Cabarse
Backing Vocals in "Radio" by Danny Haddad
Guitar Solo for "Ghosts (T.N.T.W.S.)" by Kris Simeon
Drums for "Like A Lion" by Chase Kossack
Album Artwork by Alicia Rei Kim

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Sleeptalkers San Francisco, California

Sleeptalkers is an alternative rock band based in San Francisco.

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